Resume tip

If you went to Duke, keep it to yourself. At best you'll be thought a prick. At worst a huge prick.

Resume tip

Attach a completed medium difficulty sudoku. Shows you're good with numbers but not a show-off.

Response to Cover Letter - Radio Hosts

Dear Daniel and Joseph:

Thank you very much for giving us the opportunity to consider you for employment. Your qualifications are impressive; however, we do not have any openings that would fit with your background and experience at this time. Your resume will be kept on file for future reference.

We wish you well in locating the opportunity you desire. Thank you again for your time and interest in pursuing employment with Clear Channel.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Smith
Clear Channel Communications, Inc.

Finding a Job With Omegle

You might get lucky:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hey
Stranger: hi
You: we're looking for a job, are you hiring?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: where are u?
You: chicago, but we're willing to travel
Stranger: what kind of job are you lookin for?
You: anything. what do you have available?
Stranger: are u a man?
You: physically, but we're scared of the dark and spiders

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Finding a Job With Omegle

You might get lucky:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with.
Hang on.You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: We're here to find a job
Stranger: lulz
Stranger: How's that work?
You: Can you hire us?
Stranger: I assume you're looking for a job with money and right now I can tell you that I have about 10 pounds in 2 pence pieces that I'd be willing to give you per chore accomplished
You: what's 2 pence, about 40 dollars?
Stranger: I believe the exchange rate is 1 US Dollar to 1.98 English Pounds
Stranger: So 2 pence would be about.... 3.96 US cents
You: yeah, we're not too good with the metric system
Stranger: That's unfortunate, as you appear to be no good with the monetary system as well.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Learn From My Interview Mistakes - Mike Tyson

Quote in Question: "I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

-When talking about killing people in an interview, try and keep it specific. It is less threatening toward your interviewer to let him know that you don't intend to kill him. I should have mentioned why I wanted to kill Lenox (scratched my Lilo & Stitch dvd) as that would make it understandable. But then I started to speak in generalities, and I fear I came across as a bit boorish.

TTFN,
Iron Mike

Resume tip

If you went to Indiana U, keep it to yourself. A 1-17 Big Ten record is simply not cut out for the corporate world.

Job Seeker Q&A

Q:
@JoeAndDanOnJobs Another question.Per the job interview, is there such a thing as being TOO personal?Case in point:http://tinyurl.com/bsbsxk

A:
@KtHollis No, as long as you learn your lesson
http://joeanddan.blogspot.com/2009/02/learn-from-my-interview-mistakes-odb.html

Interview tip

Make sure you bring a magazine. Those things can get booooring. We prefer Highlights.

Job Seeker Q&A

Q:
KtHollis@JoeAndDanOnJobs What are your feelings on bringing a crossbow to a job interview? Yes, no, maybe so?

A:
@KtHollis it seemed to work for nick cage in "the weatherman" so probably a good idea. (note:we nor anyone else has seen "the weatherman")

Interview Tip

When it comes to bringing weapons to an interview, we prefer to leave the guns at home. We usually feel more stabby afterward

(We'll post old twitters here so you don't miss out on any pointed insights)

Cover Letter - The Menards Guy

Dear Mr. Menard,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) notice you don't see the Menards Guy much anymore. We hope he didn't get eaten by a shark while kite surfing! But in that eventuality, it's a perfect time to go for younger, hipper spokespeople (us). We're like that Mac Guy, but since there are two of us, we would be 4 times as good (2^2). We often talk to people we don't know about home improvement items. On the train the other day, we told a guy he could get an 8 foot ladder for the price of a 6 foot ladder. And we believe there is a good chance that he went to get a ladder after he finished beating us up.

Here are some examples of how the commercials could go with two people instead of one.
Joe: How much is this plywood?
Dan: 15 dollars a sheet.
or
Joe: This plywood is 15 dollars a sheet.
Dan: Wow!
or
Joe and Dan: Plywood is 15 dollars a sheet.

We can talk about things other than plywood if that's what you would like.

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli