Cover Letter - Bartender

Dear bar,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) drink a lot. Like now, for example. Now meaning while we write this, not while you read this (but that's probably a safe bet too). The more we drink, the more we are convinced we could pretty much be the greatest bartenders in the world. And the most attractive. We had a brief stint in juggling (ended due to severe trauma involving a knife routine we weren't quite prepared for), which would lend itself to the flippy bottle tricks Tom Cruise used in one of those movies where his outrageous amount of gayness is so thinly veiled.

Recently we toured what we thought was a brewery. Actually it was just a candy factory (again), but we still really liked it. Did you know that root beer barrels won't get you drunk? 17 cavities later and we just figured that out.

We have been to 5 Milwaukee Brewers games. Albeit only one was at County Stadium or Miller Park. Who would want to go to Wisconsin?

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

In a Related Item

This guy

Ideally

KFed will claim Jamie Lynn's kid is his. KFed, JL, and her BF will go on Maury Povich. When Maury proclaims, "KFed, you ARE the father!" he will jump up on his chair and shout "POPOZAO!"

Every time I imagine this scenario I have a physical, giddy reaction.

Favorite Movies of 2007

Superbad

Favorite Songs of 2007

There was a winner, but here are the best of the rest

• The Magic Position - Patrick Wolf





• When I Say Go - The 1900s



(video is for a diff song)






• No Cars Go - Arcade Fire





• Phantom Limb - The Shins





• Can't Tell Me Nothin - Kanye West





• 1 2 3 4 - Feist





• Flathead - The Fratellis





• International Player's Anthem - UGK





• Is There a Ghost - Band of Horses





• Smokers Outside Hospital Doors - Editors





• Top Back (Remix) - Lil Wayne





• Bros - Panda Bear





• Throw Some D's (Remix) - Rich Boy





• Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me - The Pipettes

Winner:

• Boyz - M.I.A.

Get Organized!

A good way to organize your thoughts and tasks while on a job search is to make a list of tasks to do and cross them off when you complete them. For example, here is a list we compiled for our last job search.

update portfolio
complete resume
clean up work space
back up computer hard drive
knock out real world vegas marathon
get suit cleaned

Interview Tip

We're often asked how much one should drink before an interview. Our general rule of thumb is if you can just barely pass a field sobriety test, you will be relaxed enough to not only ace your interview, but get there safely.

Cover Letter - Songwriter for Fergie

Dear Fergie,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) a-r to the e p-r-e-t-t to the y s-u-r to the e w to the e c-a to the n d to the o b-e-t-t-e to the r.

(Sing to the tune of Glamourous)
Hire us, hire us hire us, hire us, hire us hire us, hire us, hire us hire us, hire us, hire us hire us.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

A Christmas Video

The result of cabin fever.

Yuletide Vocab

There are certain words that you hear around Christmas that you don't hear any other time of year. Hark, the herald angels sing; Lo, the angel Gabriel appeared to Joseph. I guess that's why we don't get a lot of new Christmas carols*, as the modern equivalent of Hark would be Yo, and Lo would be Booya.

*Except for Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC

Learn From my Interviewing Gaffes - By Mike Tyson

"I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

In general, you do not want to threaten the lives of your co-workers children. Plus the implied cannibalism made me seem a smidge odd, I fear. I should have said, "I want to eat with his children, at Fuddruckers!"

Also, try not to bring up religion too much at work.

Later,

Mike :)

Interview Tip

Should you ever fight an interviewer? If he looks at you funny, yes. If he doesn't, it's your call.