Study Skills

Today in anatomy we learned about the boob, or as its called in Science, the 'breast.'

Learn From My Interview Mistakes - Ron Karkovice

When I go to an interview, I find it helps to wear brightly colored shirts to distract from my face.

Good Luck,

Karko

It Could Be a Cryptoquip

If I poked fun at the town where I go to school, locals might call me an "Out of Towner Downers Frowner."

Truth Behind the Magic Wiggle

My old click-wheel iPod has been a pain the last year or so. About four times Ive had to take it to the Apple Store to get it fixed due to the sad iPod icon that comes up when I turned it on. Every time I take it in, some Genius Bar guy takes it in back for 30 seconds or so and comes out with the thing working again. I would inquire each time, only to have every Genius give me another cryptic answer, one even referring the technique as a "magic wiggle." Well guess what? Today I took it in again and learned just what is the magic wiggle. This Genius leaked the information that what they are doing back there is the default reset by holding down the top and middle button on the wheel, and while the iPod is resetting, slamminmg the iPod down on a counter. This apparently unscrambles its scrambled hard drive. You can see why they dont want to do this in full view of the public, but you could have told me, Geniuses. You could have told me.

Gatorade Tiger: Red Drive

"What kind of color is red?
Red is a warning
A declaration
A color that says
I'm ready
To do what it takes.
Red is focused and driven
Because Red doesn't like
Second place.
So what kind of color is Red?
His kind
Red Drive
A crisp blend of
Cherry and citrus flavors
Inspired by Tiger
It's in Tiger Woods.
Is it in you?

Formulated for Tiger Woods"

So, am I allowed to drink it?

Text sent from Dan to Joe

"In San Fran, just saw street performer robot child fall off box. Robot father broke character."

Sweet Merciful Crap

Dear makers of "Made of Honor",

If the title of your movie has a pun in it, we just won't be seeing it*. It's that easy.


*the movie "spy hard" excepted of course

Cover Letter - MTV Programming Director

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) have noticed that all there is on MTV nowadays is that gosh darn America's Next Top Model. What happened to the kind of crap that we knew and loved? It's your lucky day because we will blow your mind with ideas for the kind of silly junk you used to have back when you were enjoyable.

I know you may be concerned that there will be far less insane women without all those insane models and insane Tyra Banks. Well we have a pretty good eye for crazies. Just look at our ex-girlfriends. Wakka wakka wakka. But seriously, we'll keep the goofballs on your channel.

Here are our fly ideas for new programs:

"The Lunchroom" (Just put a camera in a high school lunchroom and see if something happens. it wont, but were confident that with the usual media blitz and milking the extra special food fight episode for weeks, we can make people care (see: the hills).)

"The Toto Hour" (Everyone loves some Toto, although there probably be some repeats of "Africa" and "Rosanna")

"Boobs" (Lets just call these shows what they really are)

Also, here are some new ideas for True Life eps:

"I'm a white middle-class suburban male and there is in fact nothing terribly significant about me" (so relatable!)

"I have a terrible condition that we wont plan on solving, but we will find a way to turn it into entertainment." to be followed immediately by: "I have an extremely trivial problem but will react as if it's the worst problem any human has ever encountered".

"I'm a butler"

"I still like pogs" (Semi-Autobiographical (OK, totally Autobiographical))

"Parade of embarassing white people wearing tank tops, talking with accents from places that they're not from, and doing weird thing with their hands when they talk.

"If you steal any of our ideas without our permish (short for permission, of course), we will work you dog. WOHK YOU.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Cover Letter - Radio Host

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) want to host our very own radio program. I know what you're thinking, why would two such dreamy hunks want to be on a non-visual medium? Simple. We want to become so big in radio that we will be scraping that Seacrest fellow off the bottoms of our shoes. Also, we don't need to be sent letters from artists and listeners to make a sappy dedication like that Casey Casem. We can just make 'em up on the spot. For example:

"Billy has been in the hospital for some time now fighting rickets. He says he wants us to play a song to make his mom feel better, because she has rickets too. Well Billy, we think we can help you. Here is Polka Medley, from Weird Al."

Here are some examples of sound drops we have accumulated:
-the "whhhoooooaaaah" noise when something sexy or controvertial goes down
-the "woo-woo" whistle when something sexy goes down
-sheep noise for celebrity gaffes
-a loud boing for a surprising moment
-benny hill theme for pretty much anything

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

We get it Usher, you like clubs

Can we hate the song "Love in This Club" based just on the title? Yeah Yeah Yeah.



See what we did there?

Yes We Have More, Thank You

I asked Grape Henderson if he had seen Hannah Montana on Idol Gives Back last night. Proclaiming his heterosexuality, he informed me that no, he had not. I had seen the performance on YouTube and found that removing the fog machines and huge stage lights makes her spastic movements really creepy. Grape asked if there were any particular hot Miley jams he should check out, and I of course told him about "See You Again." Oddly enough I dont find myself changing the station when that comes on the radio, and once found myself getting excited when I heard it back to back having switched from KDWB to KCLD. In the past Ive found myself looking up a couple performance clips on YouTube, solely because people were dishing out four figures to go see her, thus making Hannah Montana one of the top Billings in the county. Grape wondered if she had a nice butte, but was horrified to find out that she is 15 and that no, there is not a 90210 kind of thing where shes actually 25 going on here. He will go to Helena handbasket for this.

Fun Facts About the Signorelli Brothers

Much like Chuck Norris, there are many "facts" going around about us. Here are a few of them..

- the signorelli brothers once read a book about pandas. they found it very informative.
- when the signorelli brothers are tired, they will often take a nap.
- do you like ice cream sundaes? so do the signorelli brothers! so you have that in common.
- when the signorelli brothers work out, occasionally they will use a spotter.
- favorite color? green. if it's not yours, that's cool.