Figure out your career path with your favorite T.V. show!

Do you watch a lot of TV? Well put that to use you lazy slob and figure out your career by picking out your favorite program. Then we'll match it up with the best job for you.

QVC - Salesperson

Boston Legal - Lawyer

Grey's Anatomy - Teenage Girl

House - Lawyer

Heroes - Something with computers, dork

Pee Wee's Playhouse - CEO

Knight Rider - German

Monday Night Football - Something where you drive a truck - in the South

VH1 - Intern for US Weekly

The Hills - Somehow get rich off making a sex tape

Smurfs - Cuban dictator

Arrested Development - AnalRapist

SpongeBob - Pizza Delivery

The Wire - TV Critic

The Gauntlet - Real World person who makes a living off appearing in The Gauntlet (CT we're looking in your direction)

Lost - Probably something cool like genetics or architecture

Star Trek - Whatever it is, avoid girls at all costs.

Interview Tip

Sometimes, interviewers will give you an uncomfortable chair to gain the upper hand. If this is the case, throw that chair through the window. Now the upper hand is on the other foot!

Cover Letter - News Anchor

We got a response!

LETTER WRITTEN, 2:00 pm, 12/29

Hello,My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) have recently become aware of the departure of Paul Majors. We could not help but notice that this will of course leave a prestigious opening for the position of anchorman at your station. We would like to volunteer our services. Both of us frequently read articles on cnn.com, and we have a pretty good idea of what is going on. We also have a stunning tag-team dynamic, not seen since the comedy stylings of Abbott and Costello (though I might add we are a little easier on the eyes!). Whilst reporting the news, we will make the ladies swoon, much the way Paul Majors did. We do not claim to be Paul Majors, as those are awfully big shoes to fill. But keep in mind that we are two people, and can both use two feet to fill just one shoe each. In closing, here is an example of our reporting:

"Michael Jackson is in legal trouble again!"
"That's right, Joe."

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

REPLY, 2:05 pm, 12/29

Thanks for the offer! I think we'll stick with our new anchor team for now, but we'll let you know if they need a break.

Take care,
Jen Mxxxxx KARE11 News

Actually, I got them all cut.

"What you want?"
"Well I'm going to Africa for a few weeks, so I wanted it a lot shorter than normal so I dont really have to deal with it."
"What you want?"
"I guess something like these, I marked some of these pages in your book here."
"You want like that or that?"
"Well, I figure these are all just kind of variations on the same cut, right?"
"I know what you want."
"Do you?"
"I know."
"You know what, just make me look like someone named Todd."

Cover Letter - Army

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) want to be in the army now. (BTW, did you ever see that movie with Pauly Shore and Andy Dick? ewwwwww)

Video games we've beaten that probably translate: Contra (you can pick which of us is red and which is blue (as long as I can be blue)), Super Mario 1, 2 and 3 (although 2 only loosly translates), and Final Fantasy (we'd be fighting wolves, right?)

Instead of being an "Army of One", we'd be at least an "Army of Two". We don't want to tell you how to do your job or anything, but in armies as with jelly beans, the more the merrier. If we were to fight anyone, we would prefer an "Army of 50,000 or so".

Medals we'd win: Best Hider, least wasteful with ammunition, most emotional, most gay without actually being gay.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli