My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) just got done watching Jason Bourne stick it to those CIA jerks again. We were hoping to become one of those jerks. Check out our qualifications and try not to have a top secret operation in your pants.
Things we are good at:
Running on top of moving trains
Swinging from ropes with knives in our mouths
Synchronizing watches
Romancing Eastern Bloc women
Hanging on to the roof of a moving car, as well as able to drive one handed while getting someone off the roof of our car
Spitting in peoples' faces as opposed to giving up the location of the microfilm
Can fly harrier jets/all helicopters
Know how to wear a wetsuit under a tuxedo
Fire a harpoon gun in a pinch
Jump out of a second story window onto the back of a horse
Own poison dart cufflinks
Hanging off tall building roofs with one hand so we don’t drop our gun/religious artifact
Spying
Listening to conversations from really far away
Drive backwards
Entering an airplane from the wing
Skydiving/bungee jumping sans the proper equipment
Holding our breath underwater
Shooting people who have big guns with small guns
Using Spy-Tech toys to see what our neighbors are watching on TV
Creating exploding messages
To get in touch with us, just TURN AROUND.
Sorry, we waited as long as we could, but were getting hungry. The effect would have been pretty boss though, don't you think?
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli
Monday
Cover Letter - Depends
Dear Depends,
My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) think we could design a better adult diaper. We've noticed that they're all a similar size and absorbancy (not that we wear them). Now this is okay for babies, since they eat the same thing all the time, but what happens when it's taco night at the retirement home?
We would base our adult diaper line on what meal one has eaten that day. Think about it. Ifwe someone else were to go out for a light salad at lunch, a comfortable cloth poo catcher would probably do. But should we that same person hit the indian buffet in uptown, one would probably want a minimum 10 mil visqueen liner in their doody recepticle.
And what are the fashion options? To answer our own question, none. The closest thing to a fun and flirty print you can get is teddy bears on the baby diapers (thank god we live close to wisconsin where the babies are fat enough we can fit their diapers). Why no colored or patterend adult diapers? We know we would be more inclined to poop into something that has a picture of one of the stars of Gossip Girl on them, or even a nice plaid.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli
My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) think we could design a better adult diaper. We've noticed that they're all a similar size and absorbancy (not that we wear them). Now this is okay for babies, since they eat the same thing all the time, but what happens when it's taco night at the retirement home?
We would base our adult diaper line on what meal one has eaten that day. Think about it. If
And what are the fashion options? To answer our own question, none. The closest thing to a fun and flirty print you can get is teddy bears on the baby diapers (thank god we live close to wisconsin where the babies are fat enough we can fit their diapers). Why no colored or patterend adult diapers? We know we would be more inclined to poop into something that has a picture of one of the stars of Gossip Girl on them, or even a nice plaid.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
