Finding a Job With Omegle

You might get lucky:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: We're looking for a job, do you have anything available?
Stranger: 잠시만
You: Pardon?
Stranger: 안녕
Stranger: 하세요
Stranger: 헤이
You: Ok, we can get you references by next week
Stranger: what
Stranger: ?
Stranger: What's weird
You: Excuse me
Stranger: yes
You: We were just guessing at what you wrote
Stranger: may
Stranger: I
Stranger: help
Stranger: you?
You: yes, we would like a job.
Stranger: 모래요
Stranger: 무슨
Stranger: 말인지
Stranger: 몰르겠어요
You: Is that Chinese or wingdings
Stranger: What kind people?
You: Yes those people are nice
You: So would you like us to come in and interview in person?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Finding a Job With Omegle

You might get lucky:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: You hiring?
You:we assure you we're qualified
Stranger: What?
You: we're looking for a job, are you hiring?
You: we do good work
Stranger: I am not the boss ^_^
You: could you put in a good word for us?
You: last job we worked at we got a lot of "atta boy"s
Stranger: I'm a foreigner
You: that's all relative to where we are.
You: or are you in the band?
You: you foreign to the u.s.?
Stranger: I am a student
Stranger: sorry
You: no problem.
You: could you hire us in your home country, it's tough with visas over here.
You: or we could tutor you.
Stranger: I'm so sorry
You: what are you studying, we'll show you we know the subject matter.
Stranger: But I do not have money to pay wages- -!
You: that is troubling.
You: we could work for food and stolen forks from the cafeteria
Stranger: Fuel you will find a good job of
You: Pardon?
Stranger: bay
You: inlet
Stranger: see you
You: catch you on the flip flop home slice
Stranger: i'm so sorry
Stranger: bye
Stranger: bye
Stranger: ok?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Learn From My Interview Mistakes - Mike Tyson

Quote in Question: "One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."

-What started out as a touching childhood story, turned a bit violent. I should have just ended by saying that I was sad or something. Oh and dude, wouldn't you know the interviewer's kid had downs syndrome. Awwwwwkward.

Find a Job With Omegle

You might get lucky:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey
You: hi
You: you hiring?
You: we need a job
Stranger: where are you from?
You: chicago, but we're willing to travel
Stranger: great bulls
You: yeah we tried out for them, but they wouldn't hire us
You: not even for aaron gray's spot

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Resume tip

If you went to Duke, keep it to yourself. At best you'll be thought a prick. At worst a huge prick.

Resume tip

Attach a completed medium difficulty sudoku. Shows you're good with numbers but not a show-off.

Response to Cover Letter - Radio Hosts

Dear Daniel and Joseph:

Thank you very much for giving us the opportunity to consider you for employment. Your qualifications are impressive; however, we do not have any openings that would fit with your background and experience at this time. Your resume will be kept on file for future reference.

We wish you well in locating the opportunity you desire. Thank you again for your time and interest in pursuing employment with Clear Channel.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Smith
Clear Channel Communications, Inc.

Finding a Job With Omegle

You might get lucky:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hey
Stranger: hi
You: we're looking for a job, are you hiring?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: where are u?
You: chicago, but we're willing to travel
Stranger: what kind of job are you lookin for?
You: anything. what do you have available?
Stranger: are u a man?
You: physically, but we're scared of the dark and spiders

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Finding a Job With Omegle

You might get lucky:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with.
Hang on.You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: We're here to find a job
Stranger: lulz
Stranger: How's that work?
You: Can you hire us?
Stranger: I assume you're looking for a job with money and right now I can tell you that I have about 10 pounds in 2 pence pieces that I'd be willing to give you per chore accomplished
You: what's 2 pence, about 40 dollars?
Stranger: I believe the exchange rate is 1 US Dollar to 1.98 English Pounds
Stranger: So 2 pence would be about.... 3.96 US cents
You: yeah, we're not too good with the metric system
Stranger: That's unfortunate, as you appear to be no good with the monetary system as well.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Learn From My Interview Mistakes - Mike Tyson

Quote in Question: "I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

-When talking about killing people in an interview, try and keep it specific. It is less threatening toward your interviewer to let him know that you don't intend to kill him. I should have mentioned why I wanted to kill Lenox (scratched my Lilo & Stitch dvd) as that would make it understandable. But then I started to speak in generalities, and I fear I came across as a bit boorish.

TTFN,
Iron Mike

Resume tip

If you went to Indiana U, keep it to yourself. A 1-17 Big Ten record is simply not cut out for the corporate world.

Job Seeker Q&A

Q:
@JoeAndDanOnJobs Another question.Per the job interview, is there such a thing as being TOO personal?Case in point:http://tinyurl.com/bsbsxk

A:
@KtHollis No, as long as you learn your lesson
http://joeanddan.blogspot.com/2009/02/learn-from-my-interview-mistakes-odb.html

Interview tip

Make sure you bring a magazine. Those things can get booooring. We prefer Highlights.

Job Seeker Q&A

Q:
KtHollis@JoeAndDanOnJobs What are your feelings on bringing a crossbow to a job interview? Yes, no, maybe so?

A:
@KtHollis it seemed to work for nick cage in "the weatherman" so probably a good idea. (note:we nor anyone else has seen "the weatherman")

Interview Tip

When it comes to bringing weapons to an interview, we prefer to leave the guns at home. We usually feel more stabby afterward

(We'll post old twitters here so you don't miss out on any pointed insights)

Cover Letter - The Menards Guy

Dear Mr. Menard,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) notice you don't see the Menards Guy much anymore. We hope he didn't get eaten by a shark while kite surfing! But in that eventuality, it's a perfect time to go for younger, hipper spokespeople (us). We're like that Mac Guy, but since there are two of us, we would be 4 times as good (2^2). We often talk to people we don't know about home improvement items. On the train the other day, we told a guy he could get an 8 foot ladder for the price of a 6 foot ladder. And we believe there is a good chance that he went to get a ladder after he finished beating us up.

Here are some examples of how the commercials could go with two people instead of one.
Joe: How much is this plywood?
Dan: 15 dollars a sheet.
or
Joe: This plywood is 15 dollars a sheet.
Dan: Wow!
or
Joe and Dan: Plywood is 15 dollars a sheet.

We can talk about things other than plywood if that's what you would like.

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli