Sweet Merciful Crap

Dear makers of "Made of Honor",

If the title of your movie has a pun in it, we just won't be seeing it*. It's that easy.


*the movie "spy hard" excepted of course

Cover Letter - MTV Programming Director

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) have noticed that all there is on MTV nowadays is that gosh darn America's Next Top Model. What happened to the kind of crap that we knew and loved? It's your lucky day because we will blow your mind with ideas for the kind of silly junk you used to have back when you were enjoyable.

I know you may be concerned that there will be far less insane women without all those insane models and insane Tyra Banks. Well we have a pretty good eye for crazies. Just look at our ex-girlfriends. Wakka wakka wakka. But seriously, we'll keep the goofballs on your channel.

Here are our fly ideas for new programs:

"The Lunchroom" (Just put a camera in a high school lunchroom and see if something happens. it wont, but were confident that with the usual media blitz and milking the extra special food fight episode for weeks, we can make people care (see: the hills).)

"The Toto Hour" (Everyone loves some Toto, although there probably be some repeats of "Africa" and "Rosanna")

"Boobs" (Lets just call these shows what they really are)

Also, here are some new ideas for True Life eps:

"I'm a white middle-class suburban male and there is in fact nothing terribly significant about me" (so relatable!)

"I have a terrible condition that we wont plan on solving, but we will find a way to turn it into entertainment." to be followed immediately by: "I have an extremely trivial problem but will react as if it's the worst problem any human has ever encountered".

"I'm a butler"

"I still like pogs" (Semi-Autobiographical (OK, totally Autobiographical))

"Parade of embarassing white people wearing tank tops, talking with accents from places that they're not from, and doing weird thing with their hands when they talk.

"If you steal any of our ideas without our permish (short for permission, of course), we will work you dog. WOHK YOU.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Cover Letter - Radio Host

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) want to host our very own radio program. I know what you're thinking, why would two such dreamy hunks want to be on a non-visual medium? Simple. We want to become so big in radio that we will be scraping that Seacrest fellow off the bottoms of our shoes. Also, we don't need to be sent letters from artists and listeners to make a sappy dedication like that Casey Casem. We can just make 'em up on the spot. For example:

"Billy has been in the hospital for some time now fighting rickets. He says he wants us to play a song to make his mom feel better, because she has rickets too. Well Billy, we think we can help you. Here is Polka Medley, from Weird Al."

Here are some examples of sound drops we have accumulated:
-the "whhhoooooaaaah" noise when something sexy or controvertial goes down
-the "woo-woo" whistle when something sexy goes down
-sheep noise for celebrity gaffes
-a loud boing for a surprising moment
-benny hill theme for pretty much anything

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

We get it Usher, you like clubs

Can we hate the song "Love in This Club" based just on the title? Yeah Yeah Yeah.



See what we did there?

Yes We Have More, Thank You

I asked Grape Henderson if he had seen Hannah Montana on Idol Gives Back last night. Proclaiming his heterosexuality, he informed me that no, he had not. I had seen the performance on YouTube and found that removing the fog machines and huge stage lights makes her spastic movements really creepy. Grape asked if there were any particular hot Miley jams he should check out, and I of course told him about "See You Again." Oddly enough I dont find myself changing the station when that comes on the radio, and once found myself getting excited when I heard it back to back having switched from KDWB to KCLD. In the past Ive found myself looking up a couple performance clips on YouTube, solely because people were dishing out four figures to go see her, thus making Hannah Montana one of the top Billings in the county. Grape wondered if she had a nice butte, but was horrified to find out that she is 15 and that no, there is not a 90210 kind of thing where shes actually 25 going on here. He will go to Helena handbasket for this.

Fun Facts About the Signorelli Brothers

Much like Chuck Norris, there are many "facts" going around about us. Here are a few of them..

- the signorelli brothers once read a book about pandas. they found it very informative.
- when the signorelli brothers are tired, they will often take a nap.
- do you like ice cream sundaes? so do the signorelli brothers! so you have that in common.
- when the signorelli brothers work out, occasionally they will use a spotter.
- favorite color? green. if it's not yours, that's cool.

Cover Letter - Robin

Dear Bat Man,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) were wondering what happened to Robin? Can we be Robin?The only Robin right now is the one from the Gauntlet and we feel Robin is being represented poorly due to this. While Robin on the gauntlet is not respected by her more robust teammates (the guys and she-hulk evelen), Robin was respected by his counterpart (Batman) to the point of an uncomfortable male relationship. But with this lack of Robin, I fear Robin will take the mantle of what it means to be Robin.

We will restore Robin.

While we have no red breast (hehe) we have been known to dole out pink bellies to our enemies. A fine trait in a crime-fighting sidekick.

Being originally from Minnesota, we're used to not appearing until spring. Around the Twin Cities, people say "Ahh, the first Signorelli brother of spring", when we come out of our basement hibernation. Also instead of "April showers bring May flowers", people say "Signorelli brothers bring foxy ladies". This is based on the general rule that foxy ladies appear in May.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

P.S. We don't have to sleep in the same bed as Batman do we?
P.P.S. We would however be OK with sleeping in a Batman bed.

And What Give With No Zack Attack Music?

The end credits of "Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Vegas" have to be the worst end credits in movie history don't they?

We Salute You, Too

Again, to the Minnesota legislature, for building a baseball stadium without any sort of roof in Minneapolis. Soon the Twins will be sledding instead of sliding. And if God forbid we make it to the World Series one year and have to play in November, the whole world will see what idiots we all are for buying our owner this stadium, but who wont shell out for Torii Hunter or Johan Santana. Meanwhile, here is a classic letter from The Sports Guy's mailbag on espn.com:

"The day after Favre retired, I went to a $1, second-run movie and the 350-pound man wearing a Packers jersey in line in front of me accidentally dropped his Diet Pepsi on the floor. He stared vacantly at the clerk and declared, "This is the worst week ever." I think the Diet Pepsi pushed him over the edge, because he left the theater and never even went into the movie. I got my Sour Patch Kids half a minute earlier and somewhat enjoyed "I Am Legend.""