Just a Matter of Opinion, But I Wish You Were There

This is a Tribute.

I had never seen a tribute band until tonight. I had seen my share of covers, even cover bands. Friends in high school and so forth. Not tonight. This was something different. Tonight at Ballydoyle's, an Irish pub in Downers Grove, a U2 tribute band rocked the house. I met some enthusiastic female PA students there, one of whom was celebrating her birthday.

Fake U2 blew up. Shredding such hits they didnt record as Sunday Bloody Sunday and Where the Streets Have No Name, the ladies were fully into the act. And act they did. Bono seemed larger than life on stage, until I saw the enormous lifts on his tennis shoes. Take a lesson from Prince, and just go with high heels. We were convinced Faux-Bono was wearing a wig, but no, that turned out to be his real hair. He changed hats frequently, which I found confusing, not sure if Faux-Bono, or for this particular matter, due to the stunning accuracy, actual Bono was going to rope cattle or sell me a box of Cuban cigars.

These were grown men, who apparently believe that Halloween is celebrated 365 days a year. They have chosen to revolve their lives around music. I respect that. But somehow these guys found a way to remove all creativity from the most expressive art that mankind has been developing over our entire existence. The dress, the notes, the squeeks, the 45 degree leg kicks, all borrowed from one of history's most overrated bands.

Beautiful Day won Record of the Year. Seriously. They beat N'Sync. Look it up.

Even Fake Edge (Fedge) had his Fedge cap, which was borrowed by the birthday girl for more than the promised one song. Fedge was not pleased.

Nonetheless, good times were had. Ladies danced (I restrained, feeling awkward at the prospect of having my stress be released by some dudes playing dress-up), and forgot for a couple hours that they were weighed down by the pace of graduate school.

Hoping that at any moment, these guys might actually turn into who they want them to be.

Oh my God I understand women now.

Triple Word Score

"I was just testesing you."

Study Skills

Today in anatomy we learned about the boob, or as its called in Science, the 'breast.'

It Could Be a Cryptoquip

If I poked fun at the town where I go to school, locals might call me an "Out of Towner Downers Frowner."

Truth Behind the Magic Wiggle

My old click-wheel iPod has been a pain the last year or so. About four times Ive had to take it to the Apple Store to get it fixed due to the sad iPod icon that comes up when I turned it on. Every time I take it in, some Genius Bar guy takes it in back for 30 seconds or so and comes out with the thing working again. I would inquire each time, only to have every Genius give me another cryptic answer, one even referring the technique as a "magic wiggle." Well guess what? Today I took it in again and learned just what is the magic wiggle. This Genius leaked the information that what they are doing back there is the default reset by holding down the top and middle button on the wheel, and while the iPod is resetting, slamminmg the iPod down on a counter. This apparently unscrambles its scrambled hard drive. You can see why they dont want to do this in full view of the public, but you could have told me, Geniuses. You could have told me.

Gatorade Tiger: Red Drive

"What kind of color is red?
Red is a warning
A declaration
A color that says
I'm ready
To do what it takes.
Red is focused and driven
Because Red doesn't like
Second place.
So what kind of color is Red?
His kind
Red Drive
A crisp blend of
Cherry and citrus flavors
Inspired by Tiger
It's in Tiger Woods.
Is it in you?

Formulated for Tiger Woods"

So, am I allowed to drink it?

Text sent from Dan to Joe

"In San Fran, just saw street performer robot child fall off box. Robot father broke character."

Yes We Have More, Thank You

I asked Grape Henderson if he had seen Hannah Montana on Idol Gives Back last night. Proclaiming his heterosexuality, he informed me that no, he had not. I had seen the performance on YouTube and found that removing the fog machines and huge stage lights makes her spastic movements really creepy. Grape asked if there were any particular hot Miley jams he should check out, and I of course told him about "See You Again." Oddly enough I dont find myself changing the station when that comes on the radio, and once found myself getting excited when I heard it back to back having switched from KDWB to KCLD. In the past Ive found myself looking up a couple performance clips on YouTube, solely because people were dishing out four figures to go see her, thus making Hannah Montana one of the top Billings in the county. Grape wondered if she had a nice butte, but was horrified to find out that she is 15 and that no, there is not a 90210 kind of thing where shes actually 25 going on here. He will go to Helena handbasket for this.

Hoppy (sic) Easter!

Check out thewazungudiary.blogspot.com. Feel free to check out that site and enhance its credibility by commenting a few times. By the way, feel free to donate to the cause after visiting that site.

Meanwhile, joeanddan own four of the top seven brackets in their league, the Badgers get to play a 10 seed in the Sweet 16, and times are good.

Best News Story Ever?

Yes

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=86444

You Are Dia, and These Are Our Beans.

Has anyone else noticed how similar the scene where the kid is pointing the gun at his dad in the movie Blood Diamond is to the scene where Jane points the gun at Frank in The Naked Gun? We didn't think so, but trust us. It's there. Maybe we'll become one of those video-editing robo-nerds* and edit both scenes into one Youtube clip and then spend the rest of the week figuring out when to start playing Dark Side of the Moon so it syncs up with Wizard of Oz.**

*So less cool than bloggers. Doy.

**It doesn't, you brain-dead pot-smoking dork.

We're pretty sure that if we hosted a party and did nothing but repeatedly play the video for Sensual Seduction on a large projection screen that everyone there would be getting laid within the hour.

Good Old Cartoon Violence

This blogging thing is tough. You have to be sharp as a wit and quick like a puma cat. Still don't really know how to pronounce puma. Poo-mah? Pyoo-mah? Pew-mah? I've got the second half down pretty well at least. But I digress. Since joeanddan are the two most romantic guys on the planet, we got our girlfriends a football jersey and the Home Alone DVDs for Christmas. Did you know that there are four Home Alone movies? Make no mistake, Home Alone 2 is the best of the trilogy+1. In accordance with the law of movie sequels, they really scaled up the violence in that one. The third movie stars that kid from Liar Liar whose hair I really want to cut, and the most annoying of all children's movie animals, the parrot. Every time theres a parrot in a kids movie, it spout out appropriate cliches in any sticky situation (see: "Ooh, thats gotta hurt" or "Stick 'em up!"). I dont like that one bit. The fourth one costars French Stewart (the most annoying out of all the annoying characters from 3rd Rock from the Sun). The movie probably cost about $35 to make, most of which was used to buy tape so French could hold his eyes open. In regards to the violence, here is a breakdown of the injuries sustained by Harry and Marv in the first movie:

Marv: broken coccyx, concussion, broken nose, cracked skull, gored foot, tetanus, lacerations covering feet, broken back, broken nose, broken scapula and/or clavicle, separated shoulder, concussion.

Harry: ruptured testicle, concussion, broken coccyx, broken neck, 3rd degree burn on hand, broken nose, 3rd degree burn on head, broken ribs, cracked sternum, severe internal bleeding, broken scapula and/or clavicle, separated shoulder, concussion.

Now compare those wussy injuries with those in HA2:

Marv: broken coccyx, concussion, broken nose, death by brick to the face, death by brick to the face #2, death by brick to the face #3, death by brick to the face #4, ruptured intestine from stapled butthole, torn nasal septum, cracked ribs, broken neck, broken zygomatic and maxillary bones, ruptured testes, loss of eyesight, death by electrocution, broken neck, death from blunt force trauma to face, death from fall, broken ribs, cracked orbital bone, broken nose, stapled wiener, death from fall.

Harry: broken coccyx, concussion, broken nose, death from fall, fractured thoracic vertebrae, concussion, fractured parietal bone, ruptured testes, 3rd degree burns on head, death by fiery gasoline explosion on head, broken fingers, death by blunt force trauma to face, death from fall, broken ribs, broken nose, death from fall.

See, its obvious which is the better movie. Marv's first brick to the face actually elicited a sincere gasp from our own Grape Henderson. Also, these injuries are listed in order of occurrence, so feel free to follow along sometime.

we need more norm

In a Related Item

This guy

Ideally

KFed will claim Jamie Lynn's kid is his. KFed, JL, and her BF will go on Maury Povich. When Maury proclaims, "KFed, you ARE the father!" he will jump up on his chair and shout "POPOZAO!"

Every time I imagine this scenario I have a physical, giddy reaction.

Favorite Movies of 2007

Superbad

Favorite Songs of 2007

There was a winner, but here are the best of the rest

• The Magic Position - Patrick Wolf





• When I Say Go - The 1900s



(video is for a diff song)






• No Cars Go - Arcade Fire





• Phantom Limb - The Shins





• Can't Tell Me Nothin - Kanye West





• 1 2 3 4 - Feist





• Flathead - The Fratellis





• International Player's Anthem - UGK





• Is There a Ghost - Band of Horses





• Smokers Outside Hospital Doors - Editors





• Top Back (Remix) - Lil Wayne





• Bros - Panda Bear





• Throw Some D's (Remix) - Rich Boy





• Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me - The Pipettes

Winner:

• Boyz - M.I.A.

A Christmas Video

The result of cabin fever.

Yuletide Vocab

There are certain words that you hear around Christmas that you don't hear any other time of year. Hark, the herald angels sing; Lo, the angel Gabriel appeared to Joseph. I guess that's why we don't get a lot of new Christmas carols*, as the modern equivalent of Hark would be Yo, and Lo would be Booya.

*Except for Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC