Tuesday
Job Board
f you're one of those musicians on the Subway commercials, time to find a new career, because you're terrible.
Wednesday
Job Board
Difficult job - Chien Ming Wang's translator/sugarcoater. "No really Chien, sucky is a compliment in english."
Monday
Wednesday
Repost in Memorium - Cover Letter - News Anchors
Cover Letter
2:00 pm, 12/29
Hello,
My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) have recently become aware of the departure of Paul Majors. We could not help but notice that this will of course leave a prestigious opening for the position of anchorman at your station. We would like to volunteer our services. Both of us frequently read articles on cnn.com, and we have a pretty good idea of what is going on. We also have a stunning tag-team dynamic, not seen since the comedy stylings of Abbott and Costello (though I might add we are a little easier on the eyes!). Whilst reporting the news, we will make the ladies swoon, much the way Paul Majors did. We do not claim to be Paul Majors, as those are awfully big shoes to fill. But keep in mind that we are two people, and can both use two feet to fill just one shoe each. In closing, here is an example of our reporting:
"Michael Jackson is in legal trouble again!"
"That's right, Joe."
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli
___________________________
Reply
2:05 pm, 12/29
Thanks for the offer! I think we'll stick with our new anchor team for now, but we'll let you know if they need a break.
Take care,
Jen Mxxxx
KARE11 News
2:00 pm, 12/29
Hello,
My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) have recently become aware of the departure of Paul Majors. We could not help but notice that this will of course leave a prestigious opening for the position of anchorman at your station. We would like to volunteer our services. Both of us frequently read articles on cnn.com, and we have a pretty good idea of what is going on. We also have a stunning tag-team dynamic, not seen since the comedy stylings of Abbott and Costello (though I might add we are a little easier on the eyes!). Whilst reporting the news, we will make the ladies swoon, much the way Paul Majors did. We do not claim to be Paul Majors, as those are awfully big shoes to fill. But keep in mind that we are two people, and can both use two feet to fill just one shoe each. In closing, here is an example of our reporting:
"Michael Jackson is in legal trouble again!"
"That's right, Joe."
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli
___________________________
Reply
2:05 pm, 12/29
Thanks for the offer! I think we'll stick with our new anchor team for now, but we'll let you know if they need a break.
Take care,
Jen Mxxxx
KARE11 News
Monday
Cover Letter - Reality Show Contestants: The Fearmaster
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click here to view the post.
Job Board
If you are unable to program your digital converter box, don't bother looking for jobs, the world has passed you by.
Wednesday
Cover Letter - Shoulder Models
Original Job Post:
Shoulder Models needed for MD Course July 18th (Hotel Sax Chicago)
Date: 2009-06-27, 7:50AM CDT
The 2009 Chicago Shoulder Ultrasound Course will be on Saturday July 18th at the Hotel Sax in Chicago. We need models with normal shoulders AND models with known rotator cuff tears (by MRI scan) to be part of our shoulder training lab from 12:30 to 3:30. Models will only have to sit in a chair for 3 hours and let doctors ultrasound their shoulder. Ultrasound is noninvasive and painfree and there is no radiation. Our course website is www.shouldersono.com Please respond with any questions, CV and picture if available.
Location: Hotel Sax Chicago
Compensation: $100 cash for 3 hours
This is a part-time job.
This is at a non-profit organization.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) would love to the responsibility of being your models. While we have not had rotator cuff surgery, we do have impressive shoulders, as shown in the attached picture. Should you tell us we would be able to shoulder the responsibility of this job, we would pull our car to the shoulder of the road in the City of Big Shoulders and celebrate being shoulder models. Here are three things we can do with our shoulders:
1. Throw a baseball as far as 23 feet or grapes into mouth
Please don't give us the cold shoulder.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours in shoulder,
That news make our shoulder look like this!
Shoulder Models needed for MD Course July 18th (Hotel Sax Chicago)
Reply to: xxx@xxx.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-27, 7:50AM CDT
The 2009 Chicago Shoulder Ultrasound Course will be on Saturday July 18th at the Hotel Sax in Chicago. We need models with normal shoulders AND models with known rotator cuff tears (by MRI scan) to be part of our shoulder training lab from 12:30 to 3:30. Models will only have to sit in a chair for 3 hours and let doctors ultrasound their shoulder. Ultrasound is noninvasive and painfree and there is no radiation. Our course website is www.shouldersono.com Please respond with any questions, CV and picture if available.
Thanks
Course Director
Location: Hotel Sax Chicago
Compensation: $100 cash for 3 hours
This is a part-time job.
This is at a non-profit organization.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
____________________________________________________
Cover Letter:
My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) would love to the responsibility of being your models. While we have not had rotator cuff surgery, we do have impressive shoulders, as shown in the attached picture. Should you tell us we would be able to shoulder the responsibility of this job, we would pull our car to the shoulder of the road in the City of Big Shoulders and celebrate being shoulder models. Here are three things we can do with our shoulders:
1. Throw a baseball as far as 23 feet or grapes into mouth
2. Passive aggressively shoulder check jerks
3. Model of course!!!
Please don't give us the cold shoulder.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours in shoulder,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli
shoulder.jpg27K
View Download
________________________________
Reply to Cover Letter:
Hi,
all of the shoulder model spots are filled,
thanks
Don
________________________________
Reply to Reply:
That news make our shoulder look like this!
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