My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) enjoy celebrities more than regular people. These glitteratti (note we know the word 'glitteratti') look and smell better than common people, do charity work to help especially common people, and can move objects with their minds.
We would like to spend more time with famous people, and although we think it's nice to hire special needs children, we could do a much better job than Billy Bush. Here is a list of celebrities we have interacted with:
Vince Vaughn (in a bar)
Black guy from reno 911 (in a bar)
Shakira (the bushes outside her home)
Quddus (fist to face)
Ron Coomer (on an airplane (you don't know who Ron Coomer is? Really? (He was and All Star for the Twins in 1999)))
Here's an example of our red carpet reporting:
BRITNEY!BRITNEY!BRITNEY!BRITNEY!BRITNEY!
oh wait
ANGELINA!ANGELINA!ANGELINA!ANGELINA!
oh wait
JEN!JENNIFER!JENJENJENJEN!
Hi, who are you wearing?
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli
