Cover Letter - Entertainment Reporter

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) enjoy celebrities more than regular people. These glitteratti (note we know the word 'glitteratti') look and smell better than common people, do charity work to help especially common people, and can move objects with their minds.

We would like to spend more time with famous people, and although we think it's nice to hire special needs children, we could do a much better job than Billy Bush. Here is a list of celebrities we have interacted with:

Vince Vaughn (in a bar)

Black guy from reno 911 (in a bar)

Shakira (the bushes outside her home)

Quddus (fist to face)

Ron Coomer (on an airplane (you don't know who Ron Coomer is? Really? (He was and All Star for the Twins in 1999)))

Here's an example of our red carpet reporting:
BRITNEY!BRITNEY!BRITNEY!BRITNEY!BRITNEY!
oh wait
ANGELINA!ANGELINA!ANGELINA!ANGELINA!
oh wait
JEN!JENNIFER!JENJENJENJEN!
Hi, who are you wearing?

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Daniel L. Signorelli

Joseph R. Signorelli

Just a Matter of Opinion, But I Wish You Were There

This is a Tribute.

I had never seen a tribute band until tonight. I had seen my share of covers, even cover bands. Friends in high school and so forth. Not tonight. This was something different. Tonight at Ballydoyle's, an Irish pub in Downers Grove, a U2 tribute band rocked the house. I met some enthusiastic female PA students there, one of whom was celebrating her birthday.

Fake U2 blew up. Shredding such hits they didnt record as Sunday Bloody Sunday and Where the Streets Have No Name, the ladies were fully into the act. And act they did. Bono seemed larger than life on stage, until I saw the enormous lifts on his tennis shoes. Take a lesson from Prince, and just go with high heels. We were convinced Faux-Bono was wearing a wig, but no, that turned out to be his real hair. He changed hats frequently, which I found confusing, not sure if Faux-Bono, or for this particular matter, due to the stunning accuracy, actual Bono was going to rope cattle or sell me a box of Cuban cigars.

These were grown men, who apparently believe that Halloween is celebrated 365 days a year. They have chosen to revolve their lives around music. I respect that. But somehow these guys found a way to remove all creativity from the most expressive art that mankind has been developing over our entire existence. The dress, the notes, the squeeks, the 45 degree leg kicks, all borrowed from one of history's most overrated bands.

Beautiful Day won Record of the Year. Seriously. They beat N'Sync. Look it up.

Even Fake Edge (Fedge) had his Fedge cap, which was borrowed by the birthday girl for more than the promised one song. Fedge was not pleased.

Nonetheless, good times were had. Ladies danced (I restrained, feeling awkward at the prospect of having my stress be released by some dudes playing dress-up), and forgot for a couple hours that they were weighed down by the pace of graduate school.

Hoping that at any moment, these guys might actually turn into who they want them to be.

Oh my God I understand women now.

Triple Word Score

"I was just testesing you."

Resume

The resume can be an effective tool on how to show people what you do well. Just check out ours!

Joseph R. Signorelli
a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois
Daniel L. Signorelli
a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin

1978-1982 just Joseph R. Signorelli so not much happened
1982-1995 hung out and stuff
1995-present prolific writers of Family Circus Jeffy fan fiction

(references furnished upon request)

Study Skills

Today in anatomy we learned about the boob, or as its called in Science, the 'breast.'

Learn From My Interview Mistakes - Ron Karkovice

When I go to an interview, I find it helps to wear brightly colored shirts to distract from my face.

Good Luck,

Karko

It Could Be a Cryptoquip

If I poked fun at the town where I go to school, locals might call me an "Out of Towner Downers Frowner."

Truth Behind the Magic Wiggle

My old click-wheel iPod has been a pain the last year or so. About four times Ive had to take it to the Apple Store to get it fixed due to the sad iPod icon that comes up when I turned it on. Every time I take it in, some Genius Bar guy takes it in back for 30 seconds or so and comes out with the thing working again. I would inquire each time, only to have every Genius give me another cryptic answer, one even referring the technique as a "magic wiggle." Well guess what? Today I took it in again and learned just what is the magic wiggle. This Genius leaked the information that what they are doing back there is the default reset by holding down the top and middle button on the wheel, and while the iPod is resetting, slamminmg the iPod down on a counter. This apparently unscrambles its scrambled hard drive. You can see why they dont want to do this in full view of the public, but you could have told me, Geniuses. You could have told me.

Gatorade Tiger: Red Drive

"What kind of color is red?
Red is a warning
A declaration
A color that says
I'm ready
To do what it takes.
Red is focused and driven
Because Red doesn't like
Second place.
So what kind of color is Red?
His kind
Red Drive
A crisp blend of
Cherry and citrus flavors
Inspired by Tiger
It's in Tiger Woods.
Is it in you?

Formulated for Tiger Woods"

So, am I allowed to drink it?

Text sent from Dan to Joe

"In San Fran, just saw street performer robot child fall off box. Robot father broke character."

Sweet Merciful Crap

Dear makers of "Made of Honor",

If the title of your movie has a pun in it, we just won't be seeing it*. It's that easy.


*the movie "spy hard" excepted of course

Cover Letter - MTV Programming Director

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) have noticed that all there is on MTV nowadays is that gosh darn America's Next Top Model. What happened to the kind of crap that we knew and loved? It's your lucky day because we will blow your mind with ideas for the kind of silly junk you used to have back when you were enjoyable.

I know you may be concerned that there will be far less insane women without all those insane models and insane Tyra Banks. Well we have a pretty good eye for crazies. Just look at our ex-girlfriends. Wakka wakka wakka. But seriously, we'll keep the goofballs on your channel.

Here are our fly ideas for new programs:

"The Lunchroom" (Just put a camera in a high school lunchroom and see if something happens. it wont, but were confident that with the usual media blitz and milking the extra special food fight episode for weeks, we can make people care (see: the hills).)

"The Toto Hour" (Everyone loves some Toto, although there probably be some repeats of "Africa" and "Rosanna")

"Boobs" (Lets just call these shows what they really are)

Also, here are some new ideas for True Life eps:

"I'm a white middle-class suburban male and there is in fact nothing terribly significant about me" (so relatable!)

"I have a terrible condition that we wont plan on solving, but we will find a way to turn it into entertainment." to be followed immediately by: "I have an extremely trivial problem but will react as if it's the worst problem any human has ever encountered".

"I'm a butler"

"I still like pogs" (Semi-Autobiographical (OK, totally Autobiographical))

"Parade of embarassing white people wearing tank tops, talking with accents from places that they're not from, and doing weird thing with their hands when they talk.

"If you steal any of our ideas without our permish (short for permission, of course), we will work you dog. WOHK YOU.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Cover Letter - Radio Host

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) want to host our very own radio program. I know what you're thinking, why would two such dreamy hunks want to be on a non-visual medium? Simple. We want to become so big in radio that we will be scraping that Seacrest fellow off the bottoms of our shoes. Also, we don't need to be sent letters from artists and listeners to make a sappy dedication like that Casey Casem. We can just make 'em up on the spot. For example:

"Billy has been in the hospital for some time now fighting rickets. He says he wants us to play a song to make his mom feel better, because she has rickets too. Well Billy, we think we can help you. Here is Polka Medley, from Weird Al."

Here are some examples of sound drops we have accumulated:
-the "whhhoooooaaaah" noise when something sexy or controvertial goes down
-the "woo-woo" whistle when something sexy goes down
-sheep noise for celebrity gaffes
-a loud boing for a surprising moment
-benny hill theme for pretty much anything

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

We get it Usher, you like clubs

Can we hate the song "Love in This Club" based just on the title? Yeah Yeah Yeah.



See what we did there?

Yes We Have More, Thank You

I asked Grape Henderson if he had seen Hannah Montana on Idol Gives Back last night. Proclaiming his heterosexuality, he informed me that no, he had not. I had seen the performance on YouTube and found that removing the fog machines and huge stage lights makes her spastic movements really creepy. Grape asked if there were any particular hot Miley jams he should check out, and I of course told him about "See You Again." Oddly enough I dont find myself changing the station when that comes on the radio, and once found myself getting excited when I heard it back to back having switched from KDWB to KCLD. In the past Ive found myself looking up a couple performance clips on YouTube, solely because people were dishing out four figures to go see her, thus making Hannah Montana one of the top Billings in the county. Grape wondered if she had a nice butte, but was horrified to find out that she is 15 and that no, there is not a 90210 kind of thing where shes actually 25 going on here. He will go to Helena handbasket for this.

Fun Facts About the Signorelli Brothers

Much like Chuck Norris, there are many "facts" going around about us. Here are a few of them..

- the signorelli brothers once read a book about pandas. they found it very informative.
- when the signorelli brothers are tired, they will often take a nap.
- do you like ice cream sundaes? so do the signorelli brothers! so you have that in common.
- when the signorelli brothers work out, occasionally they will use a spotter.
- favorite color? green. if it's not yours, that's cool.

Cover Letter - Robin

Dear Bat Man,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) were wondering what happened to Robin? Can we be Robin?The only Robin right now is the one from the Gauntlet and we feel Robin is being represented poorly due to this. While Robin on the gauntlet is not respected by her more robust teammates (the guys and she-hulk evelen), Robin was respected by his counterpart (Batman) to the point of an uncomfortable male relationship. But with this lack of Robin, I fear Robin will take the mantle of what it means to be Robin.

We will restore Robin.

While we have no red breast (hehe) we have been known to dole out pink bellies to our enemies. A fine trait in a crime-fighting sidekick.

Being originally from Minnesota, we're used to not appearing until spring. Around the Twin Cities, people say "Ahh, the first Signorelli brother of spring", when we come out of our basement hibernation. Also instead of "April showers bring May flowers", people say "Signorelli brothers bring foxy ladies". This is based on the general rule that foxy ladies appear in May.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

P.S. We don't have to sleep in the same bed as Batman do we?
P.P.S. We would however be OK with sleeping in a Batman bed.

And What Give With No Zack Attack Music?

The end credits of "Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Vegas" have to be the worst end credits in movie history don't they?

We Salute You, Too

Again, to the Minnesota legislature, for building a baseball stadium without any sort of roof in Minneapolis. Soon the Twins will be sledding instead of sliding. And if God forbid we make it to the World Series one year and have to play in November, the whole world will see what idiots we all are for buying our owner this stadium, but who wont shell out for Torii Hunter or Johan Santana. Meanwhile, here is a classic letter from The Sports Guy's mailbag on espn.com:

"The day after Favre retired, I went to a $1, second-run movie and the 350-pound man wearing a Packers jersey in line in front of me accidentally dropped his Diet Pepsi on the floor. He stared vacantly at the clerk and declared, "This is the worst week ever." I think the Diet Pepsi pushed him over the edge, because he left the theater and never even went into the movie. I got my Sour Patch Kids half a minute earlier and somewhat enjoyed "I Am Legend.""

Learn From My Interview Mistakes - by Willie McGee

When going into an interview, try not to look like me.

Cover Letter: Sumo Superstar

Dear Tom Sumo:

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) are pretty sure we've eaten our weight in jelly beans this Easter (esp. purple). We were so enjoying them that we thought "Could we ever do this for a living?"

Answer, yes.

When we saw you and your friends competing on ESPN, we knew this was for us. We've always shoveled well, and while we aren't sure whether that will translate to being good at shoving or not, we're willing to give it a try. Mainly we just want to eat more jelly beans. Have you ever considered sprinkling the ring with jelly beans rather than rice? That would make your organization both silly and delicious!

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Hoppy (sic) Easter!

Check out thewazungudiary.blogspot.com. Feel free to check out that site and enhance its credibility by commenting a few times. By the way, feel free to donate to the cause after visiting that site.

Meanwhile, joeanddan own four of the top seven brackets in their league, the Badgers get to play a 10 seed in the Sweet 16, and times are good.

Kent State gets a HUGE gas face

Thank you Kent State for laying a historic turd in the first half of your tournament game and making the spread pool exciting for all of 3 minutes.

Everyday Heroes

To the person/people who are changing the lettering on the redeye boxes in chicago from "FREE" to "PEE"....

You're hired.

Figure out your career path with your favorite T.V. show!

Do you watch a lot of TV? Well put that to use you lazy slob and figure out your career by picking out your favorite program. Then we'll match it up with the best job for you.

QVC - Salesperson

Boston Legal - Lawyer

Grey's Anatomy - Teenage Girl

House - Lawyer

Heroes - Something with computers, dork

Pee Wee's Playhouse - CEO

Knight Rider - German

Monday Night Football - Something where you drive a truck - in the South

VH1 - Intern for US Weekly

The Hills - Somehow get rich off making a sex tape

Smurfs - Cuban dictator

Arrested Development - AnalRapist

SpongeBob - Pizza Delivery

The Wire - TV Critic

The Gauntlet - Real World person who makes a living off appearing in The Gauntlet (CT we're looking in your direction)

Lost - Probably something cool like genetics or architecture

Star Trek - Whatever it is, avoid girls at all costs.

Interview Tip

Sometimes, interviewers will give you an uncomfortable chair to gain the upper hand. If this is the case, throw that chair through the window. Now the upper hand is on the other foot!

Cover Letter - News Anchor

We got a response!

LETTER WRITTEN, 2:00 pm, 12/29

Hello,My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) have recently become aware of the departure of Paul Majors. We could not help but notice that this will of course leave a prestigious opening for the position of anchorman at your station. We would like to volunteer our services. Both of us frequently read articles on cnn.com, and we have a pretty good idea of what is going on. We also have a stunning tag-team dynamic, not seen since the comedy stylings of Abbott and Costello (though I might add we are a little easier on the eyes!). Whilst reporting the news, we will make the ladies swoon, much the way Paul Majors did. We do not claim to be Paul Majors, as those are awfully big shoes to fill. But keep in mind that we are two people, and can both use two feet to fill just one shoe each. In closing, here is an example of our reporting:

"Michael Jackson is in legal trouble again!"
"That's right, Joe."

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

REPLY, 2:05 pm, 12/29

Thanks for the offer! I think we'll stick with our new anchor team for now, but we'll let you know if they need a break.

Take care,
Jen Mxxxxx KARE11 News

Actually, I got them all cut.

"What you want?"
"Well I'm going to Africa for a few weeks, so I wanted it a lot shorter than normal so I dont really have to deal with it."
"What you want?"
"I guess something like these, I marked some of these pages in your book here."
"You want like that or that?"
"Well, I figure these are all just kind of variations on the same cut, right?"
"I know what you want."
"Do you?"
"I know."
"You know what, just make me look like someone named Todd."

Cover Letter - Army

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) want to be in the army now. (BTW, did you ever see that movie with Pauly Shore and Andy Dick? ewwwwww)

Video games we've beaten that probably translate: Contra (you can pick which of us is red and which is blue (as long as I can be blue)), Super Mario 1, 2 and 3 (although 2 only loosly translates), and Final Fantasy (we'd be fighting wolves, right?)

Instead of being an "Army of One", we'd be at least an "Army of Two". We don't want to tell you how to do your job or anything, but in armies as with jelly beans, the more the merrier. If we were to fight anyone, we would prefer an "Army of 50,000 or so".

Medals we'd win: Best Hider, least wasteful with ammunition, most emotional, most gay without actually being gay.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Best News Story Ever?

Yes

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=86444

You Are Dia, and These Are Our Beans.

Has anyone else noticed how similar the scene where the kid is pointing the gun at his dad in the movie Blood Diamond is to the scene where Jane points the gun at Frank in The Naked Gun? We didn't think so, but trust us. It's there. Maybe we'll become one of those video-editing robo-nerds* and edit both scenes into one Youtube clip and then spend the rest of the week figuring out when to start playing Dark Side of the Moon so it syncs up with Wizard of Oz.**

*So less cool than bloggers. Doy.

**It doesn't, you brain-dead pot-smoking dork.

Complaint Letter - MTV

Dear MTV,
Knock it off with the America's Next Top Model already. Geesh.

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Ugh.

As an antithesis to Billy Crystal's children's book, we feel we can safely say about the movie "Definately, Maybe" - We hate you before we even met you.

We never thought that there would be a more annoying movie title than "Two if By Sea", but this is a close call.

Cover Letter - Navy (Officer Preferably)

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) want to be in the Navy (That was not a Village People joke).

Recently we have been playing battleship on yahoo games, and achieved rating of 1400. Not bad, eh? Please don't make fun of our Minnesotan accent. Another naval accomplishment for us has been keeping it free of lint. ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously though, we own three canoes in various locations around MN.

We once crashed a jetski but got right back on. We were going 5 knots (which we assume is about 8 miles per hour), got some water in our nose, and only cried a little bit. The list of tough guys starts with us, with number two maybe being Kimbo Slice or Pat Sajak.

One huge advantage we have over all other navies is that we can hold our breath FOREVER (one goes under while the other surfaces for breath). No one else you know can do that. Except for Aquaman. So hopefully you don't know Aquaman. (If you know Aquaman can we meet him?)

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

We're pretty sure that if we hosted a party and did nothing but repeatedly play the video for Sensual Seduction on a large projection screen that everyone there would be getting laid within the hour.

Learn from my Interview Mistakes - By Mike Tyson

Quote in Question: “[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

In retrospect, this one wasn't so bad. Focus on your strengths!

See ya poundin the pavement,

Iron Mike

Good Old Cartoon Violence

This blogging thing is tough. You have to be sharp as a wit and quick like a puma cat. Still don't really know how to pronounce puma. Poo-mah? Pyoo-mah? Pew-mah? I've got the second half down pretty well at least. But I digress. Since joeanddan are the two most romantic guys on the planet, we got our girlfriends a football jersey and the Home Alone DVDs for Christmas. Did you know that there are four Home Alone movies? Make no mistake, Home Alone 2 is the best of the trilogy+1. In accordance with the law of movie sequels, they really scaled up the violence in that one. The third movie stars that kid from Liar Liar whose hair I really want to cut, and the most annoying of all children's movie animals, the parrot. Every time theres a parrot in a kids movie, it spout out appropriate cliches in any sticky situation (see: "Ooh, thats gotta hurt" or "Stick 'em up!"). I dont like that one bit. The fourth one costars French Stewart (the most annoying out of all the annoying characters from 3rd Rock from the Sun). The movie probably cost about $35 to make, most of which was used to buy tape so French could hold his eyes open. In regards to the violence, here is a breakdown of the injuries sustained by Harry and Marv in the first movie:

Marv: broken coccyx, concussion, broken nose, cracked skull, gored foot, tetanus, lacerations covering feet, broken back, broken nose, broken scapula and/or clavicle, separated shoulder, concussion.

Harry: ruptured testicle, concussion, broken coccyx, broken neck, 3rd degree burn on hand, broken nose, 3rd degree burn on head, broken ribs, cracked sternum, severe internal bleeding, broken scapula and/or clavicle, separated shoulder, concussion.

Now compare those wussy injuries with those in HA2:

Marv: broken coccyx, concussion, broken nose, death by brick to the face, death by brick to the face #2, death by brick to the face #3, death by brick to the face #4, ruptured intestine from stapled butthole, torn nasal septum, cracked ribs, broken neck, broken zygomatic and maxillary bones, ruptured testes, loss of eyesight, death by electrocution, broken neck, death from blunt force trauma to face, death from fall, broken ribs, cracked orbital bone, broken nose, stapled wiener, death from fall.

Harry: broken coccyx, concussion, broken nose, death from fall, fractured thoracic vertebrae, concussion, fractured parietal bone, ruptured testes, 3rd degree burns on head, death by fiery gasoline explosion on head, broken fingers, death by blunt force trauma to face, death from fall, broken ribs, broken nose, death from fall.

See, its obvious which is the better movie. Marv's first brick to the face actually elicited a sincere gasp from our own Grape Henderson. Also, these injuries are listed in order of occurrence, so feel free to follow along sometime.

we need more norm

Cover Letter - Teacher

To who (or whom, who knows!?!) it may concern,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) would like to teach america's youth!

We know a lot of stuff. And while that is enough to have you thinking, HIRED! hold on, there's more.

Our methods are innovative and sometimes even effective. We can yell loud enough to make a rhesus monkey blush. We can toss a kid 7 yards, longer if we're on the third floor or higher. We rarely need bathroom breaks (especially for number 2). We can, and have, lectured for 9 hours without blinking. Blinking gives trouble makers an opportunity to shoot zingers or try to listen to Patsy Cline. We own 3 or 4 whiffle bats. Since we are 2, one can lecture while the other disciplines without missing a beat (double entendre). We know what double entendre means.

See you in the teacher's lounge!?

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Complaint Letter - Toaster Strudel Makers

Dear Toaster Strudel Makers,
Why no toaster treat innovations in the last 10 or so years? We have no toaster oven.

Please forward to R&D.

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Sorry Mike Huckabee

If this is your number 1 fan, you're effed.

Learn From My Interview Mistakes - By Mike Tyson

Quote in Question: "My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

In retrospect I really wish I hadn't added that caveat at the end there, because I started out really strong. But in my defense, I didn't actually kill that person (Lennox Lewis).

<3,
Iron Mike

Cover Letter - Nascar

Dear Mr. (Tom?) Nascar,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) practice ALL THE TIME. We havent taken a right turn in years, opting for three lefts instead. Imagine our difficulty getting off the highway! We're always ending up in Maine. We have switched our diet to 90% jerky and rind form (thank you Kwik Trip). If for some reason you doubt us, we have various speeding tickets to prove how fast we can go.

An advantage we would have over Ricky Rudd for example, would be that if one gets tired the other can drive. If Ricky gets tired his only option is to pull over at a rest stop and take a nap.

BTW: that "Jesus Take the Wheel" song is NOT literal. So if it comes on the radio while you are driving, not only are you a dork for listening to a country station, but you should not climb into the passenger seat. Jesus either did not take the wheel or is a really bad driver.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli

Cover Letter - Fact Checker

Dear Sir or Madam who values correctness,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) would like to be your fact checker. We would save you money on library cards because we already know most facts. This would also save money on gas going to said library (in case you're one of those dorks who take the bus or drive a prius, gas is very expensive nowadays).
Here are some examples of our knowledge:
The capitol of Minnesota is St. Paul
In Europe dollars are called "euros" (crazy, i know!)
The band Europe rocked
There are at least 200 million people in america (counting us that makes at least 200,000,002).
Pizza is delicious
Slides are fun
Some people dont know many facts. They sometimes even confuse non-facts with facts. We call them creationists. We will weed these non-facts out like dandelions (are dandelions weeds? yes. FACT.).

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli