Cover Letter - Fact Checker

Dear Sir or Madam who values correctness,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) would like to be your fact checker. We would save you money on library cards because we already know most facts. This would also save money on gas going to said library (in case you're one of those dorks who take the bus or drive a prius, gas is very expensive nowadays).
Here are some examples of our knowledge:
The capitol of Minnesota is St. Paul
In Europe dollars are called "euros" (crazy, i know!)
The band Europe rocked
There are at least 200 million people in america (counting us that makes at least 200,000,002).
Pizza is delicious
Slides are fun
Some people dont know many facts. They sometimes even confuse non-facts with facts. We call them creationists. We will weed these non-facts out like dandelions (are dandelions weeds? yes. FACT.).

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli