Cover Letter - Teacher

To who (or whom, who knows!?!) it may concern,

My brother (a senior in genetics at U of Wisconsin) and I (a graduate student in architecture and structural engineering at U of Illinois) would like to teach america's youth!

We know a lot of stuff. And while that is enough to have you thinking, HIRED! hold on, there's more.

Our methods are innovative and sometimes even effective. We can yell loud enough to make a rhesus monkey blush. We can toss a kid 7 yards, longer if we're on the third floor or higher. We rarely need bathroom breaks (especially for number 2). We can, and have, lectured for 9 hours without blinking. Blinking gives trouble makers an opportunity to shoot zingers or try to listen to Patsy Cline. We own 3 or 4 whiffle bats. Since we are 2, one can lecture while the other disciplines without missing a beat (double entendre). We know what double entendre means.

See you in the teacher's lounge!?

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Daniel L. Signorelli
Joseph R. Signorelli